Spring Cleaning: Getting Rid of That Winter Sludge

Spring Cleaning: Getting Rid of That Winter Sludge

OOOOOOH MY GOSH!!!  UUUUUUUUGH!!! I GAINED 10 POUNDS AND WE ARE HALFWAY THROUGH MARCH!  WHAT THE HELL!!!! YOU, the scale, ARE GOING BACKWARDS!

Female's feet on scale

This is the exact conversation that took place with my scale one early morning last week.  I was beyond frustrated and annoyed with myself. When really there were so many things that made this miniature meltdown happen.  

Tri-color star birthday cake

First, it was the month after a whole month of celebrating birthdays. I had been eating out, having cake, having ice cream, treating myself to red meat (that I really don’t eat very often), just living it up for all of our birthdays.  

Benadryl and Tylenol Rapid Release Pills

Second, since I was an infant I always get sick on my birthday and this year was no different … so when I felt it coming on at the end of February I started popping Benadryl to dry up my sinuses like an addict pops pills. I am famous for not drinking enough fluids specifically water … so dehydrated I became. When I stopped with the Benadryl I started with the over the counter sinus medication, still dehydrated, and feeling bloated I arrived in mid-March extremely constipated.  SMH … I feel like nature was paying me back for not just letting myself be sick on my birthday.

Glass of water with lemon splashing water out

A week later I managed to lose the 10 pounds again … sleep and water do a lot of good.  I still feel sluggish though and I also noticed my multivitamin not really doing what it should be doing. It had been quite a few years since I did a really good detox or cleanse and it’s been since President Obama’s first election that I did a natural one. I headed over to Pinterest to see what types of natural cleanse I could find that I haven’t tried before, would work rather quickly, and wouldn’t have to do for very long.  Let’s be real … nobody likes to be tethered to the toilet for longer than need be.

While on Pinterest I came across cabbage detox soup that looked rather delicious.  I’m still thinking about trying the soup just because it looks tasty. Other than that it seems like something I would have to eat every day for a good amount of time before it really worked. I love a good veggie soup but not every day for a week. The next one I came across was apple cider vinegar and I actually like using ACV but like I said I wanted to try something new.  The third one I found and chose was this date and prune jam-like stuff (for lack of a better description).

The only time I’ve ever had a date was in my Basic 4 breakfast cereal. I’ve never had a prune before in my life, let alone a prune date jam. This little cleanse was going to be a taste bud adventure for me.  The claim on Pinterest was that it would work within 2 minutes of eating. That was enough to get my attention to see if it was true.

Before I go over the recipe let me tell you a little bit about the benefit of dates and also prunes.  I didn’t just go into this thing blind. I made sure there would be benefits aside from my insides getting cleaned out. A few benefits of consuming dates and prunes:

  • Promotes hair health
  • Great for skin
  • Tons of Antioxidants
  • Strengthens bones
  • Treats anemia
  • Cures allergies
  • Helps with digestion

The recipe I used came from Yerlist

  • 1 cup of prunes
  • 1 cup of dates
  • 5 cups of water (but I added 6)

chopped dates and prunes

Steps:

  • Cut up both the prunes and dates
  • Boil the water while cutting the prunes and dates
  • Add the prunes and dates to the boiling water
  • Boil for 15 minutes
  • Remove from heat and let cool
  • Eat on an empty stomach in the morning

I followed the instructions step by step until the 15 minutes passed and all I had was a pot full of brown water and chunks of re-hydrated fruit. I decided to let it boil some more.  My theory was if I let it boil long enough it will cook down to a gel or paste. I added that 1 extra cup of water just to make sure that the fruit wouldn’t burn as it began to become this applesauce consistency. I let it simmer for a total of 45 minutes beginning to end. Even after 45 minutes, there were still chunks, not large chunks, but nevertheless chunks still. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t do chunks. Yes, I am a texture person.  I decided to pour the boiled down fruit into my Ninja and give it a quick puree. It turned out beautiful. Now I had something that looked more like apple butter.

Now it was time to let it cool.  Through the whole process, I refused to take a taste. I was waiting to have it on some toast and didn’t want to ruin it by trying it plain.  You know because bread makes everything taste better. Lol

Date Prune Butter Final result

It gets cooled down and I spread it over some bread … take a bite … (kinda nervous that I might gag) … shocked when it tastes more like the fruit butter version of the mixed berry jelly you get at Cracker Barrel.  *whew wipes brow* Thank God it wasn’t nasty. Now I think I can actually consume this daily.

Now time to wait out the 2 minutes for the instant poopfest …

Still waiting …

Still waiting …

A whole 24 hours went by and I ate another round of the stuff and it did not work! Either it doesn’t really work in 2 minutes or else I have a larger health problem on my hands. I’m going to go with the “it doesn’t really work that quickly”. I have no doubts you can and will receive benefits from consuming the date and prune butter (that’s what I’m going to call it) I just don’t think it is good for cleansing purposes.  On to my next cleansing adventure. Hopefully, I will get it figured out before spring has come and gone.

 

Leave a Comment